The other day in a conversation with friends at work, we were discussing life and how we wished we knew when we were young, what we know now. It got me to thinking how we fail to realize the importance of so many universal truths until later in life.

Here are 10 things I wish I had known earlier in life: The importance of showing up. It’s said that people never forget how people make them feel. That’s really at the heart of relationships, isn’t it? We gravitate toward people who make us feel good about ourselves or make us feel happy, loved or appreciated. We leave or stay away from those who don’t have a good vibe or don’t make us feel like our best selves.

People never forget when we show up for them. During celebratory times or sad, people never forget when we are there for them. Through the years, when they recall a wedding, a funeral, or a personal event of significance, they often remember who was there for them. I wish I’d realized the importance of this simple thing when I was younger. It’s easy to blow off things for one reason or another, but even the smallest effort has value. Showing up is a universal kindness.

Excuses are not valid reasons. People often use excuses to smooth disappointment in the fact they didn’t carry through with what was expected. The main difference between many productive people and others is that they absolutely refuse to give up. The bottom line is people always find time and ways to do what is important to them. If someone has an excuse why they couldn’t do something typically it really means they didn’t want to do it. An excuse places a patch on it. It’s particularly important to recognize excuses when in a relationship. We need to know what our line in the sand is on these matters.

Spending too much time in our own heads is detrimental. Too much idle time thinking about ourselves rarely leads to a positive outlook on life. Focusing on our own thoughts excessively can lead to negative thinking and bring us down. Instead we should steer our attention away from ourselves toward others or participating in activities or hobbies. Helping others is an elixir that fights depression. It’s hard to be unhappy when you’re helping someone else. Focusing on others instead of ourselves can lift our mood and give us an intrinsic rush. Plus, a busy mind and hands don’t allow us to focus on the things that get us down.

Problems or challenges are opportunities. We all have problems and face them daily. The ability to face problems head-on is a gift.

If we want to change the future, we should help provide our youth with the ability to handle issues. We should model how to problem solve and accept challenges as opportunities. This one concept will go a long way to ensure happiness. Have you ever listened to someone who has a “Woe is me” attitude? They aren’t happy. They lament that something is always wrong or is going to go wrong.

People who can’t deal with problems and let them upset their apple carts are unhappy beings. They are stuck. More and more it seems people allow little things to upset them. Learning to be flexible and to let little things roll off our backs goes a long way in keeping our peace of mind.

Owning stuff can weigh you down. There are many birthdays where I can’t remember what I received as in the form of gifts. One year my husband gave me a simple art experience that we did together that I will always remember fondly. Experiences outweigh possessions. In this day and time, for the most part, we all have so much stuff that chances are we don’t need more material possessions.The memory of an experience far outweighs the momentary rush of buying or receiving a material object. When someone passes, it’s typically your memories of them and time spent together that you enjoy and cherish, not belongings. Possessions have a way of weighing us down. Every day you hear of people selling and cleaning out closets, and houses of objects because they have too much stuff. Clutter can also be stressful.

The act of assuming is the downfall of relationships. Have you ever noticed that when we can’t figure out why someone did what they did, or something happened that we don’t like, we start to put together a story in our heads in order to make what occurred make sense? Whether it’s a romantic relationship, friendship or work relationship, we can put together scenarios that usually place someone or something in a negative light in our minds. It can be something as simple as entering a room and someone doesn’t talk to us, our minds go to work coming up with reasons why, and most of them aren’t good.This then affects that relationship, because it places a false negative veil on our thinking and behavior when engaging with them. Good communication will resolve this problem.

Love takes different forms. Our perception of what love is changes as we age. We realize that a few romantic words and a box of candy are the tip of the iceberg where a true love is concerned. We truly learn what love is and is not, when we’ve got some years and life experience under our belts. We recognize and value sacrifice. Most of all, we learn that effort may be the most important telltale sign of love. When someone makes an effort to make you happy, whether it’s bringing you lunch or bending down to tie your shoe; that’s love. We learn that love is not all about the showstopper events and dramatic proclamations of love. Many come to realize the difference between infatuation, which can be deceiving and like a drug, lust and lasting love. It’s the subtle things that can be easily overlooked that we should value. Things like someone carrying a heavy work bag to your desk for you, walking on the outside of the sidewalk closest to traffic, or making your lunch. When young, people can throw relationships away thinking there will always be another love to come along. It’s the worst kind of extravagance wasting love or playing with hearts. Sometimes too late people realize they were in a relationship where someone truly loved them.

Learning keeps us young. Learning new things keeps our minds engaged and interactive. Sometimes when we’re young we have the false idea that learning only happens in school. The opportunity for learning is available 24/7. One idea can lead to many possibilities in life that may excite us. It’s that exhilaration that keeps us young and vital.There are people in this world who work for 25 years and have only one year of experience that they have lived over and over in that 25 years. That’s a stagnant way to live and makes us old before our time.

Everyone wants to be noticed. From the young to the elderly, everyone wants to be noticed or as my grandma used to say,“petted on”. Just a friendly hello, kidding someone, or a card can mean the world to a person.To feel you are noticed is a boost to our spirits that even medicine can’t provide. People feel special when someone remembers a detail about their life or something they previously mentioned or told about themselves. It’s the little things that do mean the most. No one should go through this life unnoticed. We are all precious in His sight.

A sense of humor is a salve. Having a sense of humor is a godsend. It’s entertaining, it provides much needed laughter in awkward or sad situations and it’s a stress reliever. Laughter is medicine. The power of a sense of humor is such that it should only be used for good. Using a sense of humor to make fun of others in order to build yourself up or bond with others is a misuse of its influence.

As we grow older, our body’s age, we acquire wrinkles, and we may have aches and pains. It seems, my friends, that the only gift in growing older is wisdom, precious memories and a life well lived.