I grew up in Buffalo, South Dakota which at the time was home to almost 400 people. I know because my father, who worked for the town, did his own census. When I left home, the population dropped by one. Then a few other people left, and some came, and now it’s 346. That’s according to Google, which is probably not as accurate as my father was, since he knew every person in town.

Growing up in a town that size qualifies me as a Small Town Person or STP, not to be confused with a fuel additive. I have visited some large cities—New York City and Tokyo to name a few—so I’ve studied the differences between STPs and Big City People, or BCP, not to be confused with the Bicycle Club of Philadelphia.

As you know, STPs say hello to everyone we meet on the street. It’s not because we’re nice people, though some of us are, it’s just that it would be odd to pass the only other person on the block and not say something.

BCPs don’t say hello to everyone on the street. It’s not that they’re unfriendly, though some of them are, it’s just that it would be odd to say hello to everybody they pass in a city block, not to mention quite time consuming. So BCPs look ahead and walk fast. They’re either always in a hurry or they’re trying to get away from the visiting STPs who keep trying to say hello to them.

STPs visiting a city find it hard to break the habit of greeting everyone they meet. Fortunately, after a few blocks of it, we grow weary and start to scowl like BCPs. Scowling doesn’t come naturally to us because we never do it back home, not that we don’t want to. It’s just that if we were seen frowning in public, word would soon be all over town. “Dorothy Rosby was sure grumpy about something today.”

Similarly, STPs wave at everyone they pass while they’re driving. That’s not because we’re nice either, though some of us are. It would just seem peculiar not to acknowledge the only other driver we’ve seen on the road all morning. And it’s not an official wave. We don’t even need to take our hands off the wheel. We just nod and raise our index finger.

BCPs don’t wave at everyone they pass as they drive. It’s not that they don’t like people, though some of them don’t. It’s just that they’d risk a repetitive motion injury if they waved at every passing motorist. Not to mention they’d be distracted from driving, which is more complicated in large cities. Where I grew up, your chances of hitting livestock were better than hitting another car.

BCPs have an abundance of shopping available, including specialty shops devoted to selling tape, socks, Legos and other items. And BCPs have a wider variety of employment options too, including sock store clerk and Lego salesperson. I once saw someone dressed as a giant shrimp and another person dressed as a giant shark on the same day in Minneapolis. No wonder STPs move to cities—more opportunity.

More coffee too. BCPs have lots of places to drink lots of different kinds of coffee that costs lots of money. They also have a wider variety of restaurants available serving foods STPs have never heard of. And when they eat, it’s at “breakfast, lunch, or dinner.” I’m not sure BCPs even know what “supper” is.

Finally, some of us from small towns suffer self-esteem issues even though our population isn’t nearly as dense—I mean densely populated. This is not helped by the fact that some BCPs seem to think of themselves as superior beings because they come from a large city. Maybe, maybe not. At least STPs are smart enough to know when supper is.

Dorothy Rosby is the author of ’Tis the Season to Feel Inadequate; Holidays, Special Occasions and Other Times Our Celebrations Get Out of Hand, coming in November 2022. Contact her at www.dorothyrosby.com/contact.