It’s a question I get a lot now. “How is empty nesting?” I know the answer I’m supposed to give. “It’s fantastic. I love it.” But on one recent occasion when I ran into someone I knew around town, I found myself giving a raw, honest answer. “It kind of stinks,” I said. “I miss my kids.”

I could see the empathy and understanding on the face of the mom I was talking to. She was still a few years away from the empty nest, but she knew it was out there, looming.

It’s a funny thing about the empty nest. When you are in the trenches of the early years of child-rearing, you look at it with a sence of longing. The prize for making it through the tough years of diapers and toddler meltdowns.

But along the way, something happens, and your perspective seems to change. For me, and a lot of parents, it seems to occur around the time your kids enter high school. Just like that your stopwatch seems to change from how long until I get to enjoy some time alone to, oh gosh, how many more years do I have them with me at home?

You find yourself hanging onto every year. And counting down each year with a little bit of panic. If you have more than one child, you can talk yourself into believing that you still have plenty of time once the first one graduates from high school.

But as is the case with all good things, they come to an end. That’s where I now find myself after packing up my youngest child this past August and sending him off to college several hundred miles away.

It’s hard to remember a time when the flip switched so drastically on my life. Probably 21 years ago when I first became a parent. But just like that, the switch flipped again, and I find myself in a whole new world. One child starting college and one on the cusp of finishing college.

Once the dust settles and you get used to the eerie quietness of your house, you’re left to wonder, now what? After years of following a schedule that was filled with the activities and needs of others, you’re suddenly left in charge of your own agenda.

All of a sudden your mind races to all of those things you said you were going to do when you had time. For me that list goes something like this: declutter and organize, try to finally get that children’s book I wrote published, declutter and organize; well, you get the idea.

But try as you may, it’s hard to turn off the thoughts that though exciting, this profound change means the life you knew where your kids occupied all of your time really is over.

So as I watch my friends get ready to watch their kids graduate from high school in a few short months, I offer this advice. Take it all in. The band concerts, the athletic competitions, the academic awards ceremonies, the theater performances. All of it.

Then when it’s finally time for your nest to become a little emptier, know that it’s OK to sit with the sadness of change for a bit as you get used to your new reality. That list of stuff you always wanted to do will still be there. Including that closet full of stuff you want to declutter and organize.

Sara Beane is a media relations manager and former reporter.